Is there a line between giving advice for your own agenda and giving advice bc it truly truly serves someone’s else. How do you know? Why do you give advice ? Are you okay if someone rejects it? Truly?
I ask this because as part of my coaches training this year, during our client session reviews, my coach constantly is reminding us NOT to give advice and to drop our agendas. For example, someone says “Should I leave my husband?” I’m not to say yes or no. I can offer tools to them to how to arrive at conclusions on their own and hold space for them but I cannot tell them what to do (unless there are signs of clear abuse).
I found this article breaks down why people offer advice pretty well: wondering if you relate to any of these? https://www.verywellmind.com/whats-behind-different-types-of-unsolicited-advice-3144961
As a new mom, you can bet that I’ve received a shit ton of advice over the last year of pregnancy and first year of my child’s life: “You Should”, “Why Dont you,” “Have you considered,” “I Hope You plan on,” etc. ugh. Please stop!
Newly engaged, new to parenthood? New job, going on a vacation? I promise you somebody has been there before and will gladly tell you all about the must sees and dos. I recently told my mom I was going to a Dan Siegel workshop on Destressing Parenting, and she scoffed at me- “you shouldn’t go to those that’s silly, why are you so stressed?” 🙄 uh, thanks?
As I get older I’ve learned to shut my mouth and thank someone for their offering- since no matter what their agenda, it’s still time taken out of someone’s day to offer me a gift. Whether the gift is actually their advice or whether it’s the gift of the reminder that just because someone offers me advice doesn’t mean I have to take it, and the best of all, the truth that I have the wisdom to know what’s ultimately the best choice for me, and only I can really make that final call.
