Perception Is NOT Reality

Old Belief: My Perception Is Not Reality

I’ve been quite arrogant about my abilities to “read” people.  I tend to be correct in my observations, so I can see how this pattern developed.  However, just because I can see something doesn’t mean I “know better”.  It doesn’t mean that I’m not “ not projecting”.  I may see something in someone that they cannot see; however it’s presumptuous to believe that they need to see it because I “think” I can.  My pattern of projecting my own reality onto others has been a roadblock in developing my own curiosity and empathy.  My curiosity in “seeing others” was clouded by a story I already formulated before they even opened their mouths.  I lost the true ability to connect with others.

 Yeah, so, maybe I ended up being right about my projection-doesn’t matter-  what is more important was that I lost the ability to be curious, and to truly understand their world. I could tell a story about them but it lacked true connection and seeing with fresh eyes. Seeing this pattern in myself has been a painful wake up call, and indispensable to my growth.

Now, I’m practicing acknowledging my story (yes, this is MY story), and getting extremely curious about theirs.  Hearing them, asking questions, dropping my agenda to lead them into revealing the bits that confirm my story is true.  Staying ever present, still and opening to receiving them as they are.  Holding my story as well, because it is there, but shifting my attention to what’s right in front of me.  The impact of this shift is a more juicy, rich, nuanced, connected experience with the person, and a more warm hearted empathy instead of a cold headed computer. The story is rewritten right before my very eyes, and has much more depth than my original projection.  Reframe: I approach people with an open mind and a curiosity to hear and get to know their world.  Naturally, this results in an a more empathetic connection.